Ajlaaaa

SHORT ESSAY ON SLANG

In the most global terms, slang is defined as usually spoken language, although it also can be seen in literature ( e.g. Ivan Slamnig's: Better half of courage; J.D. Salinger's: The Catcher in the Rye).

Abstractly said, it is an informal language, which certain groups use to differentiate themselves from others, and members of those groupsuse slang to identify themselves with their social group, which helped them to define themselves.

In my point of view, slang at first could be found in the poor, gheto areas of the cities. Nowadays, it has the status of 'worldwide art', and you will hear and see slang everywhere, even in the places you wouldn't expect to- in TV, radio, on clothes (even I have a T-shirt with slang: I don't care two hoots...), and some people even have their own websites devoted only to the world of slang...

This sites also have a colloquial dictionaries, with the most popular slang words and expressions, with over 10.000 examples.

In my hometown, slang is in everyday use; we almost think on it as a part of our ordinary life.

With slang I think on myself as a part of my group, and with it we are now appreciating for our own style.

Our slang could be defined as a 'street-slang', and is related to local Hip-Hop vocabulary, and some people who often don't hear it, and don't know us may think that we are examples of anti-social behaviour, or even vandals, seeking for their identity...

To be honest, the truth is far away from that. Those people, who are familiar with Hip-Hop culture, or at least the latest music charts, know what we are doing with our slang... Yes, we are trying to express our identity, but not to do anything menacing and unsightly.

We are only showing our class-consciousness.

But in Mostar, slang is ghetto sign, and local thought is that is used only by young and poor people, from the run-down districts of the town.

However, I think that those people should inform themselves better about slang and it's use...

In the meantime, my group and I will continue using slang, above all in our gossip-moments, when we are suspicious of strangers who are sitting next to us, and might hear what we're saying.

(One example of our slang- we often use English slang 'dinner-whore' for certain girls that live here... I hope you know the meaning...).

And to conclude, slang is our way of life... With it we can show our imagination and creativity, without doing any damage....

NORMALA, BRATO.... :-)

GROUP WORK: EXPLANATION- Two commercials

First picture:
- man's attitude towards girls; he holds them with his arms, like they belong to him
- the carelessness in his walk
- kissing one girl, the other doesn't mind
- sunglasses hiding his eyes
- his tie, usually ties are very uncomfortable for men, but he is ok with it

My explanation:
Feel free to have what you want; have the guts to take what you want; wear Guess and live your life as you deserve....

Second picture: A commercial for Enyce clothes:
- man's mysterious look
- unbuttoned shirt, unconservative attitude
- his hat
- sun and dryness that surrounds him, but he looks so fresh
- his closed lips- more mystery

My explanation:
Do you want to be a secret, do you want to be a mystery?
You are a secret, you are a mystery, you are a human being... that wears Enyce...

EXPERIMENTAL PHASE

Oh, what a funny topic. Funny, but not in negative way, than positive.
Because, for the first time, i don't know what to write about... A girl, full of inspiration in every single moment, now is left completely.. mute.
I'm sorry, but I didn't have any experimental phase in my life.
Drugs? - Thanks, but no thanks. I've seen a bunch of people who got addicted, I've seen their parents's disappointed faces when they found out that they have a son (or a daughter) whose nick-name is "junkie", I was a witness of brightness of their life before taking drugs, and of darkness during addiction... So, I'm totaly against it.
Fortunately, it's good sometimes when we learn on other people's mistakes, not on our owns.

Alcohol? - Depends on situation... However, I'm not keen on being drunk... I'm not an exception, I also got drunk... And after that I decided never again to drink alcohol in huge amounts.
A glass of wine (red one of course) - yes.
A bottle of beer - yes.
Litres of wine, beer, or whatever - no.
But, it's not my life-phase. I thought like that 5 years ago, I think it also now.
Sorry, but no phase found.

Cigarettes? - I can't say anything against it, because I smoke... And I really don't know what to say about it. Yes, smoking is bad (not because our parents told us so, but there are various prooved reasons), I know that, I even tried to stop smoking... But actually, it didn't work.
I think the main reason for that was because I wasn't enough determined.
I started smoking at the age of 18, when my High-school ended. During High-school, I was the only anti-smoker, and paradoxally, I started to smoke a month after ending it.
One day, when I quit smoking ( I hope I will... In fact I'm sure I will :-)), I'll write about it like an experimental phase of my life.
Now, that is not it, because I'm still smoking.

And, what to write now? Among all my essays, this is going to be the shortest. Because, I can not think on any thing that I used to do, but now I'm not doing it.
It seems that I start with, I never end with it.

Sad, but true... :-)

PHOTOGRAPHIC AUTOBIOGRAPHY

There is no particular reason for chosing this photo. There are at least a dozen better ones that are more appropriate for this task. But don´t you know the moment when you see something and feel somekind of relationship with it?

That just happened to me when I saw this photo. It´s taken on June, the 22nd, 2005 and it forced me to remember on certain things... The basic things of our life.

This photo has it´s story, one of the most beautiful I´ve passed through.

It was the last day of my high-school, the end of those days when me and my company marched through the town armed only with smile, saying Bruce Springsteen words, ˝We´ll learn more from the tape that is playing for 3 minutes, than we´ll ever learn at school...˝

On this day we were so moved and entranced because we were finally ending our High, but also it could be seen a sight of tears in our eyes, because we´ll never quote Springsteen together again. In our left hand we were carrying our diplomas, and with right hand we tried to hide our eyes, and dry our cheeks.

I was so proud on myself on that day, but also on that day my secret was revealed. Person right next to me was my main, and my favourite teacher, and when the ceremony was over, she asked me ˝Ajla, honey, what do you believe in?˝

Then started the conversation, in which I got messages that will lead me for the rest of my life.

I looked her with a confused look. ˝I don´t know what you are actually refering to? For these 4 years you have met me like noone in this school. Even you told me that I was a bit sceptic person who actually believed in nothing˝, I replied.

-˝But it´s not like you...to believe in nothing. Your works show something different.˝

-˝Are you talking about religion, or something like that?˝

-˝No, I´m not, because we are not shallow pepole to talk about religion. I want to know what faith will lead you through your future life? What´s your true faith?˝

She knew me better than I thought.

-˝Yes, there is something in what I believe in˝, I finally admitted. ˝As long as I know for myself I believe in Love. But, I´m ashamed of that, and I´m hidding this secret deep inside my heart, in the same part that is still overjoyed with the toys from the Kinder-eggs.˝

-˝That is a very strong faith, you know. And you should not be ashamed of it.˝

-˝But I´m. Noone actually believe in it anymore. My faith just went downhill.˝

-˝Why?˝, she asked.

Then I retold her a story that happened few days ago, and with which my faith lost its eternal fan.

-˝Few days ago my friend left his girlfriend, nice girl, pretty and bright. He never mentioned why, he only said that he is ´without any emotion towards women´. I reacted on his words like an Old Inquisition on the witches and magicians, and I was ready to burn him in the name of my Holy Inquisition, for which the Love is the biggest law, and only goddess. I was ready to curse him before dawn, put him on a cross, and above his head write: MWAL (Man who was afraid of Love). However, I didn´t do that, because I love him, and almighty Love forgives everything, but I suggested him to walk around covered with a black sheet, with a bell around his neck, to warn women that they should avoid him.

Like that in the Middle Ages had to walk people who were suffering from a disease, so that healthy people could run away before they came.

My friend is a man who doesn´t need Love. Oh, when do you know that you are suffering from that disease?

Soon, I became afraid of the man who is ´without emotions´, and I behave myself to him differently than before, although he is my best friend.

On the other hand, a close friend of mine is ´unhappy in Love´. That woman is very pretty, intelligent and above all, successful in what she is doing. But there is no Him. The Love Apostol. Or what ordinary people would say, a husband who will do laundry, cooking and cleaning, and because of who she will sit sometimes in her huge toilet and cry, because she expected something else from her life, marriage, Love...

However, my friends are standing on the oposite sides: He can have love, but he doesn´t want it, she wants it, but can not have it.

But everything circles around Love, and how it is in the most of the cases- unfair. So litterally, I believe in something that actually doesn´t exist. Then, can you tell me why my religion is strong?˝, I finished my story with a question, and I thougth that she´ll not answer me. But I was wrong, because she continued:

-˝You should understand that everyone from us has his reason for happiness, or an explanation why he exists. The sad truth is that small number of us is on this world because two people were really in love. But now, when we are here, it doesn´t matter. The only important thing is that we believe that one day we will meet Real Love. So, don´t you ever say again, that you don´t believe in that. That is your right, something yours. But also, don´t think that your faith has not have negative sides. We see everyday that in her name people kill each other.

´The Safe House´in BiH is full of victims who are there because of Love. But, Ajla, you must know what they don´t, the difference between Love and Hate.

Laura Kipnis in her book ´Against Love´ says: ´Empty is that soul without Love´, so let the Love be major goddess in your life, not just an Apostol, or a fallen angel, like you´re thinking now. All religions are based on Love. Let the Love be your religion.˝, she said and went.

From that moment, I don´t laugh any more to my idea that Love is new religion. And whenever someone says anything against it, I´ll quote my teacher and Laura Kipnis: ´Empty is that soul without Love...´

RESPONSE TO LAMOTT´S ESSAY

I know a couple of writers, who wrote books that within few months became bestsellers. Not that I am not keen on such of the books, but I consider that a large number of them are written only with a wish to became popular.

Written either in a short period, or in a very large one, in the most of the cases without any concept, they do not show author´s idea or a message, that all books should have.

That´s the main reason why I totally agree with Lamott´s work. The only way to become a true and respectful writter is to write as Lamott shows. Writing those three drafts is basic thing, if you want to create a memorable book.

The most important part of writing a book is also the hardest one... The first draft is like preparing for a new creature to be born. Those first words put in a paper, without any order, are usually the main point of the book. Devided from the complete book, all the written words have certain power and significance, and represent messages that will be given to the future readers. Even I made a small concept of this essay. I wrote a list of the things that I should pay attention on.

Eventhough You are reading now a final product, I cannot say that there wasn´t a second draft. second draft was creating my essay. Connecting ideas with an order into one thought, and making sentences from selected words and expressions.

Writing a second draft is often the most hardest part for me. I always have an idea what to write about, and my head and paper are full of expressions that I could use, but selection of the most effective ones is making me problems.

Maybe I´m too strict to myself, but I always think that I could do 2nd draft better, that I could choose more proper or stronger expressions.

This essay that You´re reading now, is just the finest possible work. I don´t say that is the best done, but all in all, it´s just a rewriting of the 2nd draft, in which I gave up my best.

Even the best writers are sometimes not satisfied with the published product, but I don´t like to make huge changes on my 1st and 2nd draft. Besides grammar and spelling changes, I´m not keen on changing my concept.

I think, like Lamott, that only the first written words are showing who you really are, and what you want to write about, and I´ll never doubt in that.